Dying to Self

Homily on “Dying to Self” based on the Gospel of John 12:20-33

In our gospel reading, Jesus is anticipating his impending death, being aware that he’s in serious trouble with the religious leaders, and even calls for his followers to be willing “to hate their life in this world” for the sake of the life eternal.

What did he mean when he said that one must hate himself? The expression to hate something often meant to prefer less. Jesus says that nothing should get in the way of our preferring him; nothing should be more important than doing the will of our Father in heaven.

With the pandemic this past year - For most of us - our sense of self-preservation is very strong, to say the least. We strictly obeyed the safety protocols from authorities, rules on wearing masks, social distancing, washing of hands. We cancelled our travel plans, avoided gathering even with family members, stayed away from dangerous areas, etc. – Nothing wrong with them.

But – Is it possible that we have fallen into the idea that self-preservation is the highest value of life? While it is prudent and wise to learn to be careful, we can be too careful. When self-preservation isolates us from the world, keeps us from making friends with people different from us, and turns into inward-focused isolationists, we have become too careful.

When there is nothing in this world or beyond - that is big enough to die for, we have become too careful. When we love our lives more than we love God, this life more than eternal life, we have become too careful. Jesus teaches us that life is not measured in the number of breaths, but by those moments that take our breath away.

Life is meant to be lived, not just protected and prolonged.

Paraphrasing the Gospel - If we try to hoard life, we lose it. Holding on or gripping life too tightly – we end up missing the whole point of life.

Jesus gave up his life on the cross because he loved God even more than he loved life. So - Is there anything you love more than life itself? Is there anything or anyone for which you would sacrifice your next heartbeat? If not, you may have made a god of your heartbeat. You are gripping life too tight. And ironically, that grip - too tight - makes you lose life after all.

For Jesus, the path to the cross was a decision, a choice, a commitment. He could see that moment of destiny coming His way before anyone else saw it. He could have chosen another way, a safer path, an easier life, if his highest goal had been self-preservation.

But the point of life, the fullness and joy of life, for Jesus was not just longer life, it was deeper life, life with meaning, with significance and contribution and obedience and love. And those values led him to the cross. He loved God, and he loved us, even more than he loved his own life.

And so we find in Christ and in his example something in life that is big enough to live for, and precious enough to die for. When you do that, then and only then, you are truly alive.

St. Iranaeus said: The glory of God is a man or woman fully alive.

That is why during Lent – we have this call for praying, fasting and abstinence.

Self-denial leads to health and wholeness.

When are you at your best? When are you most well, most fit, most whole? When are you full of health? Isn’t it when, instead of being inwardly focused on yourself, you are outwardly focused on something or someone else? Isn’t it when you are not looking at yourself or thinking about yourself at all?

Meaning - We are most healthy - - physically, psychologically, spiritually - - when our minds are off ourselves in the pursuit of some other concern. Jesus calls us away from ourselves… to die to self.

Jesus knows, we must love ourselves. How is that possible, for you and me to love ourselves? It is possible only when we truly believe and truly realize and accept that God truly loves us -you and me. Otherwise – We cannot truly love ourselves and therefore cannot love others.

Jesus knew that God loved him. What Jesus did with this knowledge was to take the way of self-denial, and it turned out to be the way to greater life. It is like a grain of wheat that falls into the ground, as though finished, only to produce a harvest of new life.

We must see that our life is a gift from God, that this gift is God’s beautiful and good creation. We must see it is a gift worth giving as an act of love. When we do, we experience the most mysterious paradox. It is a genuine miracle. When we give our self away, when we lose our self for something or for someone else, this is when we find our true self. This is the witness of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. This is the way we are invited to follow.

In the Gospel, Jesus compares his impending death on the cross to a grain of wheat that falls to the ground in order to produce new life,

This is the essence of our being – the meaning of life - of our existence – of our calling or mission as individuals and as a community, as Church. - Jesus’ life as the perfect example.

With the vaccines now - somehow – we begin to get even a little sense of a kind of normalcy, and so - the clergies, our parish leadership team including the youth and young adult leaders in our parish are exploring programs to spark renewed longing for intimacy with God - to help people get back to church and be more active in the parish life to help them get closer to God and experience deeper conversion…

With all due respect, people are now more comfortable to travel and gather and eat at restaurants but they are still using COVID 19 as reason for not coming physically to mass in the church.

With Easter Sunday in two weeks – with the Risen Christ – With lessons learned, hopefully - during this pandemic - with new awareness and appreciation of what life is all about and what really matters in life:

We are therefore inviting everyone to be part of this new beginning, new normal so to speak. With Christ, everything is new. Let us all pray also for new Pentecost.

Of course, the pandemic is not over yet – but we ask you to help us – please start inviting your families, relatives and friends to come back to Church... maybe even if not ready physically yet – but at least encourage them to stay in touch with the church… in one way or another. We miss all of our families.

Let me end with this story: Back in the old west, one of the major methods of transportation was the stagecoach. There were three kinds of tickets—first class, second class and third class. If you had a first class ticket that meant you could remain seated during the entire trip, no matter what.

If the stagecoach got stuck in the mud, or had trouble going up a steep hill, or even if the wheel came off you could remain seated—you had a first class ticket!

If you had a second class ticket you could remain seated until there was a problem. In case of problems the second class ticket holders would have to get off until the problem was solved. They did not have to help solve the problem but they could not remain seated in the coach. They did not have to get their hands dirty, but they could not stay on the stagecoach.

If you had a third class ticket there was no way you could stay on the coach. Why? Because you had the responsibility to help solve the problem. You had to help push out of the mud or up a steep hill. You had to help lift up the stagecoach to fix a broken wheel, or whatever else was necessary to get the stage back on the road.

As members of the Church, of our parish or faith community, what kind of ticket do you have? First class, second class or third class tickets?

With all due respect - I believe that one of the greatest problems facing the Church today is that too many people think they have first class tickets. Too many people are just expecting to be ministered to, to be waited on, and catered to, to be served.

Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.

But the truth is - We are the Church – We the Body of Christ – We are all parts of the same Body of Christ – Jesus’ Church exists to continue Jesus’s mission. Our very being – individually and as a community - Our very Being is Mission – the reason why we exist - to proclaim the Good News of God’s love, grace and mercy.

God bless…