Striving to Make Our Families Holy

Today, we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph – a model for us – as we strive to make our own families – also holy.

Holy Family.  These two words – Holy and Family – unfortunately are scorned in our society today. 

When people hear the word Holy - people think - too traditional – too serious – such a kill joy to be holy… and it is so unfortunate because people do not realize that true lasting joy, peace and happiness, fullness of life can be found in a holy life, God-centered life.

And - the word Family – this word is being re-defined now in our society and it now means all kinds of living arrangements or non-traditional families people get into…  They are re-defining marriage… anything goes… nowadays.  Families have been and continue to be greatly challenged and threatened from all fronts.  

And yet - we still cannot deny that families are a treasure all of us must value and protect and it is a great challenge for all of us to nurture this treasure that God has given us… because our families are God’s gift to us.

The heart of our parish is not this church. The heart of the universal church is not the Vatican 

Second Vatical Council Dogmatic Constitution on the Church states – “the heart of the church is the family” … referring to the family as the “domestic church” - the fundamental building block of the world – the foundation and hope of our society. 

As Saint Pope John Paul II said: “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.”

Pope Francis and Cardinal Luis Tagle both mentioned that we should pay attention to our youth, the young people. And the family is still the single most significant influence to the youth.

The quality of our youth reflects to us the state and quality of our society. The state of the youth reflects to us what is happening in the family.

That is why it is so disturbing to hear and watch in the news cases of teen suicides and crimes being committed by the youth.

This raises the question for all Christian parents as to how to provide a family environment that makes it possible for our children to grow in faith and to grow in wisdom, to seek the will of God for their lives and to learn how to truly love? And the answer, of course, is to follow the example of the Holy Family… our model for Christian living and family life.

But - You might think: “Jesus is God, Mary was born without original sin, and Joseph had to be a saint to be able to deal with everything that happened. How can we possibly be like them?”

We forget that the three of them, including Jesus, were just as human as we are. Theirs was a real family who experienced many of the same challenges each of us experience. At the beginning of their family life, there was talk of divorce when Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant already even before they lived together.   Joseph must have felt so terrible when he had to bring his wife to a stable to give birth to their child.   After Jesus’ birth, they had to escape from Herod’s murderous intention, so they lived in a foreign country, Egypt, away from family.

When Jesus was twelve, His parents searched for him everywhere for three days.  You see, just like any family – they had their share of struggles and occasional tensions and misunderstandings.

Still, the Holy Family made it through the difficulties of their family life – How? - They had great faith and obedience to God’s will. God was at the center of their family life… that is the key… God-centered life.

What makes them holy - Jesus, Mary and Joseph – loved each other – out of obedience to God the Father… they all – individually and as a family - trusted the Heavenly Father – They placed their love for each other – love for their neighbors – within the wider, broader and deeper context of their love for God the Father… simply stated – they loved and cared for each other for the love of God the Father.

We need families like Joseph’s and Mary's -- grounded in faith, sustained by love, nourished by tradition.

Kind of paraphrasing 1st and 2nd readings: Husbands, you're called to serve your wives. Wives, you're called to serve your husbands.  Children, you're called to serve your parents.  Parents, you're called to serve your children… Jesus said "I came not to be served but to serve."   

As Christians, we are all called to serve. The first place we have to serve in - is at home. So, the question is: Are you in your family to serve or are you in your family to be served? Your answer makes a whole world of difference.

Holy families do not just happen. They are something we all consciously create – that every member of the family create – by working together and persevering – even in tough times.

This last Sunday of the calendar year – as we prepare to face the New Year – it is a wonderful time to celebrate the feast of the Holy Family…an ideal time to ask ourselves: How is my own family doing?  Is there peace at home?  Is there understanding and respect? Is there forgiveness? Is there Love? And very important: Do we place God above all? 

Our world desperately needs families - well-formed families whose children can grow and go on to form new, also well-formed, families… Again, the family is foundation and the hope of our society...

Side note: I would like to take this opportunity to extend invitation to couples, living together – and there are those who have children already - but not married, to consider getting married in the Church and to those who are married only civilly, we invite you to have your marriage blessed by the Church… convalidated. Take this as an invitation.

Let us help you to get to the point where you stand at the foot of the altar, as a couple before God and before His Church, and enter into NOT just a marriage contract but enter into covenant relationship with one another and as a couple, as one, enter into covenant relationship with God… believing that it was God that brought the two of you together as a gift to one another.

Couples: Do you believe or think that your spouse or partner is God’s gift to you? That makes a whole world of difference.

Getting married in the Church, inviting Christ to your wedding – so to speak - is a great way to start a family – a holy family.

(End of my side note)

God Almighty, who created us in love, chose to come to us in a family setting. It was in this family setting that Jesus first experienced the presence of God. It was within family that Jesus first knew the joy of being loved. It was in the family setting that Jesus learned His first lessons on how to love.

We heard in the Gospel: “The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom…” within a family setting.  It is within family life that the new generation first receive the precious gift of faith… making the family vital to the mission of the church and the most fundamental institution in the world.

But parents – remember - you cannot give or pass on or share with your children what you do not have. So, parents, how is your own faith?  How is your own personal relationship with God? How real is God to you?

One last point - One of the worst things you can do and say to your family is how they are compared with other families.

It is NOT JUST, it is NOT WISE – It is WRONG. Yet, many of us think or say something like this: “I am OK compared to that guy …I am not such a bad parent compared to others… so – I am OK -  or my family is OK compared to that family” …. Or  "I wish my children were like theirs.  I wish my husband was like her husband or I wish my wife was like his wife.  I wish my parents were like my friend’s parents. " And so we use others as our standard.

But you see - every family is a unique relationship of unique individuals…. No two families are the same… and, every family has challenges which neighbors usually do not see.  We do not really know everything that happens inside other people’s homes… once they close their doors.  Perception is not always reality.

If we want to compare ourselves – our family -  as individuals and as a family – again, let us look at the Holy Family. The Gospel was born into the family. 

The Word became flesh in the family; and through our families, let the Gospel be proclaimed.

May the peace and joy of Christ and His Holy Family be with all our families and our loved ones today and throughout the New Year and always.

Amen.  God bless…