What is True Love?

Imagine for a moment Jesus is speaking to you. What feelings arise in you as you hear Jesus say, “You are my friend,” and as you hear him say “I love you”? How does that make you feel?

Do you truly believe God loves you?  Until you truly believe that God loves you, the truth is - you cannot truly love others. We can only truly love from our own experience of the love of God.

On the other hand – Do you truly love God? But you see - love of God and love of neighbor are inseparable, they form a single commandment.

“If anyone says, ‘I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 Jn 4:20).

- meaning - love of neighbor is a path that leads to the encounter with God, and that closing our eyes to our neighbor also blinds us to God.

Only if we love and serve our neighbor - can our eyes be opened to what God does for us and how much God loves us.

Pope Francis said: “True love is not the love of which soap operas are made of.”

The word “love” has become one of the most frequently used and misused of words and people attach quite different meanings on the word love.

We hear people say they fell out of love. We have to wonder – were they truly in love to start with?  Maybe, they are not willing or ready to make the sacrifice as true love is.

As we heard in the readings today, for St. John - true love is found not in the way humans usually love but in the way God loves.

Jesus is the perfect manifestation or visible expression of God’s love.

God proved his boundless love for us in the fact that God loved us even before we were deserving of God’s love.   (Romans 5:8) – Christ died for us while we were still sinners…. even when we were unlovable - Jesus died for us… as expiation or atonement for our sins.

To truly love is to give ourselves to the one we love, to give ourselves to the people we truly love. Loving means more than being kind, more than being nice, more than being sympathetic or compassionate. True love means giving one’s self. True love is love in which the self is given.

Love is willing or wanting the good of the other… even our enemies.  You want your enemies to convert instead of revenge.

Humans often love because they want to receive something back, even as simple as simply feeling good in the other person’s company.

Often, before humans love they ask themselves, “What is in it for me?” What is in it for me in this relationship?

Human love has limits beyond which it will not go… but the love of God is unconditional – has no boundaries – no limits – is constant and trustworthy

Jesus said: This is my commandment: love one another as I love you… no longer “love one another as you love yourself” because at times we do not even know how to love ourselves… that is why Jesus said: “Love one another as I love you.”

For us to be able to love as Jesus commanded, something must happen to us on the inside... we must have Christ in us.

We must have Christ as the true center of our life… which will utterly transform us because in this loving relationship we have with Christ – the love will flow forth from us affecting every action we do and every relationship we have. With Christ in us - It is now the love of Christ that

loves others; it is now the love of Christ that forgives others.

Only Christ living within us can enable us to live as Christ lived, to love as Christ loved. 

So – the question is – what sense or signs do you have that Christ is truly living in you or present in your life?  Would others know Christ is in you when you meet them - when you deal with others? Are you someone people are comfortable with or at peace when you are around them or are you someone people are irritated or annoyed when you are around?

True love is more than a fleeting emotion.  Jesus did not say, “love each other if you feel like it.”  Love is a matter of the will.  It is not a feeling. It is a choice.  A daily choice. 

Again - Loving our neighbor as Jesus loved us is possible only by the grace of God. With Christ in our lives, if we are in communion with Christ, we can love even the person whom we do not like or even know.

We do not have to life everyone, but we have to love them.

We have been chosen to work for the Kingdom of God. As we heard in the Gospel: “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you to go forth and bear fruit,” We have to realize that - because we have been chosen, we have to have rules for a way of life that is truly Christian.  We have to deny our immature desires for the sake of the infinitely greater good of the Kingdom of God.

This seems to be just a concept – so, to better understand - Some concrete real life stories and examples may help. 

A young boy, fourteen years old, gets his first after school job working in his grandfather’s little store.  After a few months, his grandfather felt confident that the boy could be left to handle the store alone for brief periods of time.  The store was in a quiet neighborhood. But during one of the few times when the boy was alone the store was robbed.  And the boy was shot to death. 

A few days later the robbers were captured.  That was the same day as the boy’s funeral. A news reporter interviewed the grandfather and told him that the police caught the murderers.  Then he asked him if he wanted the men to receive capital punishment – death penalty.  The grandfather looked shocked at the question.  “I cannot wish that,” he said, “I am a Christian, I am not permitted to revenge.”  Christianity imposes limits.

You are aware that Saint Mother Theresa of Calcutta was often asked why she spent so much time and energy helping people who were going to die anyway, and most of them not even Christian.  Her answer was that she had no choice.  She was a Christian, committed to serving Jesus, because Jesus identified with the poorest of the poor.

You may not have heard the story of Princess Alice, the second daughter of Queen Victoria of England.  The princess married and had a child, a baby boy.  When the child was four, he came down with a terrible disease at the time called black diphtheria.  It was highly contagious.  There was no cure and no hope.  The doctors and nurses told the princess that she had to stay away from her son.  Her own health was frail. 

One day as she stood at the door of her little boy’s room, she heard him whispering to a nurse, “Why doesn’t my Mommy hold me and kiss me anymore?”  That was more than Princess Alice could bear.  She then did what any loving mother would do.  She ran to her son’s bed, hugged him and kissed him.  She had no choice.  She had to show her love.  He needed her. Within weeks, she came down with the same illness.  Both mother and son were buried together.

The choice of love demands that we accept limitations on our lives and even pain and suffering in order to love as Jesus loved.  Parents respond to their baby’s cries in the middle of the night.  They have no choice if they really love their child.  But that choice takes sacrifice.  This is the meaning of true love. A teenager listens to a friend’s story who is having difficulties with his family.  The other teen needs an ear that understands.  The first teen would much rather be listening to music, or playing video games, but has no choice but to be present – to listen – to his suffering friend. Christianity demands it. 

A retiree spends a few hours each day with an elderly neighbor.  He would rather be fishing or golfing, but he has no choice but to visit the homebound neighbor. 

An auto mechanic repairman – helped this traveling family whose car was stuck – and it was already after the garage’s hours so the poor folks can get on the road and get their kids to bed.  He would rather be with his own family, but he is a Christian, he has no choice. And on and on… and you probably have your won love stories to share – stories of loving sacrifice. Millions of little routine daily sacrifices make the greatest life there ever was - a reality in our world.

Love, the true love of Jesus, imposes limits on us.  Love is sacrificial.  When we look at the cross, we realize the life that we have been chosen to lead. Jesus said: “Pick up your cross daily and follow me.”  We have been chosen to make Jesus’ life a reality.  He died for others. So, are we willing to die to ourselves for the love of God – to serve our neighbors.

To put it very simply.  If we have been chosen by Christ, and we have, then we have to accept His way of life, the way of limits, the way of sacrificial love.

Amen.

God bless…